lightning`

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Hey peps.. start of a year.. planning time.. yea thats what u hear, planning time. okok.. down to wat really matters.. wat are my goals.. for the real hard world vision i drive myself to.
1) enjoy the time i have with every single one of all my friend, espicially the special some1.
2)pave my way towards 3 career prospective, so all other offers out of the way.
-Film Art production
-Army
-Hosting or Co-hosting
all my peps and friends out there who knows of anyone in the above few industry can let me know, i need to start planning for my PP le or otherwise known as Professional Profiling. yea, get it done fast and move on real quick to concentrate on school work without a burden to carry
3) go to the gym 3 times a week, mon, wed fri, wed to clementi sports hall at night and mon and fri by myself. gotta start looking successful to be successful. sorry if this is all boring.. yea.
4)Get a PDA by hook or by crook at the end of this year at least.. open to presents of this anytime..haha..
5) Get a part time job that will propel me into one of the 3 career prospective that i will want to head towards
6) Be the best i can be in all, word or deed, to friends, to working mates and even my superior including team leaders, captain, coach, facilitators espicially.honor comes from those who mind to shut their crap and listen objectively.

for this to come to past, i will upload it as a picture by hook or by crook by 3rd week of january. promise.

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 11:42 PM

Monday, December 25, 2006

haven felt like updating cuz i felt no purpose to and finalli i found onli 1 purpose for blogging again.. to spread ideas which can alter destiny.. nothing else..
so yea, read jocelin post and was thoroughly inspired and fuel my passion of 1 thing, push on for the excellence of God no matter what. so often we wants a result we push awhile but once a big mountain stand in front of us, we fail to see wat is directly behind. the fuel never to give up is now my quote and i will use it again and again. Salvation is not an issue which is plainly for the reason to telemarket, more ppl under u means more honour, that is a wrong goal! it is an issue of making sure u care and seriously this Christmas shook me up on this. Seeing a poor man with a tin can or a cup, selling tissue paper or even playing a tune, we dispise them, drop in our change or juz have compassion and do a bit. ppl lets go juz beyond that, it is not abt juz making sure that we are light, but more rather, do we realli care. we always in our mouth the tune that we care and stuff, but we dun realli are caring. we bring ppl in to attach them on bringing friends under the same "curse", to me it is a wrong ambition from the start which goes on and on and is not realli being a friend but an enemy. A vast amount of ppl are not reaching out cuz of 2 reasons, my needs are not met or i dun see a point. for those with needs left unmet, dun tell me u are onli gg to reach out when God comes through totalli for u.. cuz by then u r in the heaven sitting on some soft little cloud, u r no longer in the world, how to affect it? for those who say no point, what were u looking for? love aims to give and if u haf the key to unlock life over death and u withhold it, their blood will seriously be on your hands. mani ppl will say that these are your basics, but are you living it out? that is the point..

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 1:43 AM

Monday, October 30, 2006

hih. i think i need to revamp my blog... as i find that i should write an extract of what i pray about everyday to get me back on track to pray... so yea.. dun worrie.. i will still give updates on important things which is happening like RexaZ performing at Argora on Fri at 1230pm! and yea sun at woodlands at 230pm.. so yea if ya wanna like noe this kinda stuff, i will still put. the prayer thing is to get me back on track of prayer and also to let people know about my issues. cuz if u noe me, i am a person who dun usually tell ppl that i nid their help, but i trust their instinct and our friendship for so long to figure out something is wrong, and for God to push them to let me know what is wrong and for God to let them be understandin in his place. so yea.. short as compared to anything i have written.. but if ya wanna know juz leave it in my tagboard and i will b more than willing to let ya noe about it.. cuz i dun want like all the ppl to noe my new URL as this may cause conflicting stands to my prayer. as i said, it is MY prayer..lol.. haha.. hope that this is well received.

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 11:00 PM

Friday, October 27, 2006

Having gone through the past month of hell, I think I should spit all the things out. Since I dun care what the negative comments as how you get worst if you already been through the worst yourself. The worst is not someone criticizing about it, but for people to totally ignore it. Since communication is the key of life, why bother worrying about how other view me already when their comments are comments to make me grow. Thanks for all the positive comments. People I would like to thank all before I start writing this again are as follows in order of importance; Ariel, Jocelin, Ling Ling, Sarah, girls from w34f like Huishi and Raidah. If you are a moron reading my blog, well all of them are girls. See the idea; it is sometimes true that guys are just interested in taking care of solving a problem instead of listening to the whole story. Guys are more interested in getting in solved and move on. This tells you a lot about me, for 1 thing, I listen to things like sermon and take it in real quick.

First thing first; knowledge. A lot of people think that just because you know a truth you will be compelled to live it out. Okok let me ask you, how many times your mom said not to touch the hot kettle, or not to run in the train for fear and the truth you will fall down. Then some people say that they are just childish so that’s why they do not listen to wise counsel. But remember that Lucifer also disobey God not because he is stupid or a dumb blonde that he does not know his place in the kingdom, neither is he a foolish man who rise up in rebellion. The most foolish people are people who do well for the sake of doing it or as it is their only choice. Only the wise is considered by people who knows both side the consequences before their eyes. You made a wise decision when you know that one benefit one more than the other or it appeal much better than the other, not when you do not know how to react and react the fastest and easiest way or people who do not have a choice and it is the only thing available. In short, people who react due to things like not having the knowledge of it or even force into a decisions by all things are what I classify as dumb or foolish. So don’t say that I am just dumb and I chose a wrong choice out of a wrong mindset. I knew it in my heart and mind that it appears the most beneficial to me. For the Word to be effective as a form of encouragement, one who delivers it must make sure that it is done in a way of relational issue and not just sharing knowledge. In Joshua, the 10 spies returned and told the truth, not a single lie. But the other 2 returns not because they wanted to lie, but as the relationship between a nation of God and the Almighty is based in their hand, so that’s why they say that it could be done. So before you share anything in the name of God with all respect to all cell group leaders and messages, it is not the message that you get every week that you must share to your members. Make sure that your members are equipped to handle that stage. There is no point in telling your cell group about things like gearing up to building fund when you know that your cell group is not ready to go and give. Then people will say things like giving and you will move on with God, yeah it happens sometimes but as Pastor Say, God is not dumb. Science has proven that if you are forced to make a decision in a stressful environment you will lessen you humanity. So if God is that clever, He will not keep forcing the stressful environment on you so that you will be more beneficial in His kingdom. Imagine that the whole group of Christian dies as the fact that their difficult circumstances are “cured” and that’s why they are not effective in cell group and not reaching. Sometimes doing the right thing is just aint doing the right thing. Doing things to rectify the issue like having cell group outing and also making sure that the cell group bond more than just bringing in more people that you know will not be the effective in integrating. As the word say, the weakest is the strength of the body. If your cell group members are weak in bonding with Christians in your group and also become so cold towards each other problem, then what in your mind tells you to push it on? I will stop here as you can see my intention and you should know the arguments that will follow this path.

Next relationship. The affairs of the heart is the hardest to handle as you should all know, if not go get yourself educated. It is one thing to say that you want a person for you to love. It is not the fuzzy feeling, but it is about the thing called love. A fuzzy feeling can be sensed to be a crush if you know too well and went through it many times. But when you get hooked on a person, I have come to realize what I want to look for in a girl in my future. I “fall” in love not for the sake that I will move on and tell people that I have a sense of humanity and I love beauty. But it is more of discovering characters that will make it a person you will see yourself spending time with for the rest of your life, fulfilling all the dreams now for both of you and the visions for the both of you for the rest of your golden ages. It is easy to say that you are being unequally yoked by all this and it is time to leave it behind, it is a crush etc. but let’s see about this. Firstly, my first crush happens in primary 5 where I like this girl for her gorgeous voice. I mean, she could be Britney spears without the cover. So much so that when it came out that I like her, the week following that we accidentally exchanged a kiss. To me, it was the memory I can’t get rid for the rest of my life and I don’t need a Manasseh to do it either. I like it that way that I know I gave my first lip-lock away accidentally when she was dashing for the door and I happen to turn around. It was like 4 whole seconds before I came back to reality and also before she left the area around my table and vowed most likely to herself never to talk or see me again. It is like a violated her and then I said sorry I have urges too. It was in the middle of the day and that was my first rejection my whole teenage life where my hormones kick in. wanting to grow up fast, I followed my class male trend. Get an oily face and grow some manly hair and also some much awaited muscle. So that explains what plunge me even deeper into low self-esteem; people who are judged according to how they look. Next is WanXin, Jocelyn, Shi Ying in my secondary school class. Though I never admit it and only do so now, wanxin was a person who really listen, for Jocelyn and shi ying, they were people who stuck by when the going got tough and also are very pretty in my sense. Shoulder length rebond or very straight hair which they are willing to leave long if not for fashion disaster on Jocelyn or school rules like NTSS. Next, it was Joanna, a cell group member I suspect left church to avoid me. It was then that I brought my best friend to church and when my cell group couldn’t sustain me and transferred me out of my cell group to Veronica Tang Sub-zone. It was during this period that I faced my first rival in love, trying to chase the same person but always giving way as I think I should as he is my friend and he admitted first to me that he liked her. Call me foolish and childish but if boys fight over a girl of his dreams, only the true knight in shining armor will be left standing if it is true. I got to admit one thing, we just click so well. She was in NPCC, I was in NCC. We sms each other during school and when she got my mug, she would know that I was drifting away from lesson and thinking about her. As always, all girls love to be pampered and looked to as a treasure and thus after buying for her my first present for her; the relationship went deeper, all with doubt that it will not last when he was in my life as well as hers. Soon, she found it irritating to talk to her during class and also I totally lost contact when she changed phone with her sister and more likely or not had told her sister that a friend of hers has become a stalker. He will not give me the number and this was one of the breaking point for me in my life with him and the primary reason I didn’t follow up well on him. He was almost integrated when I let go and let him slip back in. when people fail to listen to your grieves, you will totally let go of all you both shared. I stopped playing TCG with him when we switched class in sec3. Though I still see her 2 more times at her aunt shop which is quite near the neighborhood, I find that I should leave her life like a leave which drop to the ground. She is attached and I wish her the best in that relationship and also that she will leave this behind or has left this behind and never turn back because I am a guy who is not worthy of you. Always so willing to hear and willing to just be there to spend quality time with just brightens up my day to see you smile when you are with him. Same for someone else I know recently. I will not step in the way and chase what I know I can’t get or is unhappy and will make more people unhappy. I have learnt from Bill Goldberg that I rather hurt myself than I let my friends share the sorrows and get discouraged or even start questioning about it. If I let you see this it means that I have allowed you to be hurt or you have push me to a point where if I don’t tell, I am afraid I will hurt you more. The polytechnic stuff lets leave it out.

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 2:40 PM

Sunday, October 08, 2006

it has been ages since i blog, no apparent reason to carry on either eh? too much has happened that makes coming here a chore already and i am here to post my final post to this web. no one seem to care, every1 is bz wif their own life that i slip them by like a shadow, unimportant, unnecessary and totalli optional. i dun even regard myself as a person anymore, but an observing apparation who sees things which are happening to me and juz totalli stop existing. im sick and tired of making a difference when i know i dun at all. not that i haf found bad companies and critics haf come in to rot my soul. more like people i haf allowed close to my life due to 'long-lasting' friendship has let me down too much, it is to a point where i no longer find it even normal to be myself, i have different people i get around wif and wif it i carry a different character. if u haf worked b4, ya boss would have said, dun let ya personal life get involved in your job. i am living 4 lives in my life now; a son who goes to church, a classmate who is always there to hype up the class, a worker at a pathetic company who juz doesnt seem to be able to get things right n a cheerleader who knows that he cant get who and what he wants at all as he knows it is all beyond his reach. for those who will see this post, let it serve as a reminder, friends needs you not in the gd times, but ya words and ya actions makes a difference in the tough times. for me, friends haf come and all haf gone, i dun even find one i can confide my life into now without a sense of security that he/she will hear me out and encourage. it is to a point that i tell ppl in order to punish myself for stupid downright dumb mistakes i used to screw up my life. it is gone it is over, onli a miracle can help me now n dun even mention the J word in ya encouragement. i feel wat the heck? if i cant even be healed by him, how else those friends of mine will. it is not that i dun wanna do the reach out, it is the fact that i noe that ppl who come will ended up like me, stuck in a cycle to get ppl to join a club than comin for healing and encounter. i can make it on my own, but it will stray me away. who cares? i dun make a difference to any1 at all in my mental sense. i am juz a physical object that people nid, not a mind for ppl to commune to .

i feel weighted down from all sides, ppl look up to me for help but i cant b any shit help if i cant even handle myself. i will juz end up hurting more and more ppl. leaders look to me to rise up and take the baton and carry it on, but i juz dun seem to get there. be it some belief that i can make it, i m sorrie to say i haf been an actor for a show; acting so that ppl accept me and for affirmation that i can do smt great for them but juz that i am not fit for the role. i haf acted for 10 years and boy, is it the longest drama u ever saw, u haf seen me cry, u haf seen me laugh. but all i haf was an expression of things which i am unable to supress, feelings that juz wouldn't go underground. n now all the shitty religious will say what u heard u haf not apply. speak for yourself and look at yourself, u cant fit the role either.

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 12:35 AM

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Yo this is tooo gd not to blog..haha.. click the pic pls.. cuz blogger dun allow veri big pic.. haha.. so happie thank God for it.. put up the picture of today quality lunch tomo:)

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 10:59 PM

Monday, September 04, 2006

this post is the most significant so far, the 100th post i haf for this address and also the first post i m gg 2 upload after KL emerge 06. it was realli totally amazing, so great that it needed 67 pixs to discribe it! haha. ok it was a hectic time in Kl and i shall start no later than this sentence.

Day 1
it was a cool time in the bus even though the pics taken is like so little.. lol.. cuz alot of things veri common; all is dull in the bus, every1 sleeping in the bus.

1st new friend i met on the bus; Sandy! haha.. if i not wrong is Eugene zone member rite?

Eugene posing with the food.. lol.. he and i r the onli person awake in the bus.. but later he gave in also.. haha.

My own food platter .. haha.. it was realli nice. dun be decieve at how common it looks.. pack a punch ok all the food!

lol.. sleeping beauty in the sun? haha.. wateva.. this is like taken 10 or 15 min after the bus stop at the checkpoint

all the peps at the back of the bus.. sighs.. so sleepy yet sooo willing to take pics.. thank you guys you rock!

the pic of the bus! so big.. some ppl somemore mistake it to be a airplane seat.. so cool eh?

ok after the long and boring trip we were like to book into hotel and stuff.. so we reach ard 12plus.. then we haf till 4pm to eat, bathe and free and easy.. this phrase is soo common in this mission trip as it is not to allow us to stand there waiting for things to be done!? haha. coolness the way Bro Jimmy puts it.

food like singapore.. LJS! haha.. so funnie lor.. we like all agree actually to eat smt different for all the days in KL but still.. i miss Singapore! haha.

the picture we mistook for. it is totally mango ppl and no it is not for self service. cool ar. one of the best pics i think:)

the amount of chairs in the hall.. the background has all the dedicated ppl fixing up the stage.. big and powerful ppl, ppl that guys would go; wow! soooo nice body! they move the stage platform from one side of the stage support bars to the other by sliding it across their back.. coolness sia! and no, it is not light at all ok!

the hotel we stay at, mmm! so tall and magnificent building lor.. fell in love with this Ancient Egyptian feel of the hotel.. but instead of the dog lying on its stomach with its chest and face forward, this has a lion to replace it.. show u below.

the ever beautiful theme park.. i think the theme park is as big as my school campus lor.. realli huge man! the centre is a pyramid.. coolness.

Day 1 went so fine that i realli got to say 1 thing, Great is our God and greatly to be praised. it was mainly preparation for the tue to thurs conference.. so yea.. lots and lots of free time to shop!

Day2

the best table i see for an attribute table stand! so big and broad! wow.. and the red cloth to lay over makes it so high-class!
then we have hunger strike for unique food! A&W! so cool sia.

the ever admired Root Beer.. amybe some SK dun even noe there existed this restaurant in Singapore. finish it wif the hotdog.. de---licious!

the bear of A&W. so cool and so fat? is it a sign to warn excessive compulsive eating will result the effects of the bear? haha.

the sama sama story.. half full or half empty? haha..
it was a great nite to kick star an event on the whole and the best part! we haf a performance by the Strikeforce! wow! so cool man! too bad was outside so cant take any pics of them.

the KL ppl learning the things of prophesy! so cool..we can teach them in such a short time.. buck up all SF members.. we haf competitors! haha.

so alert even at the wee hours of the morning. and yea.. she is realli good at playing that. no mistake i hope for the actual performance!

all four of the brothers in the prophesy beat.. with a metronome.. striking for perfection yea!

the coolest cluster there.. south! so cool their shirt.. i promise a few ppl this pics.. hope ya like it!

the most lamo sign i saw. i was like.. dun pay at counter pay where sia.. lolness.. pay my friend for the food in 7-11.. hmm..

redbull with less sugar! soo cool. for the peps with a sensational taste of drinking redbull but dun want the damn sweet taste!

the malaysia trade. the steamboat in the truck on a stick. the uncle supa funnie.. dun worrie, all clean one.. i noe your visitors always scared this not clean that not clean, dun worrie la. my company distribute give me 10 years already. no case of food poisoning one la. haha. but seriously cheap the food at this store. red stick which includes red meat and other stuff is 1.50RM!

the way they cool the food by putting ice there.. ingenious sia!

wow! so cool.. this is how you cook it.. the pan is oiled stained not rust or dirt..pls!

wow man.. i feel soo tired.. sighs.. i slp first.. tomo then i continue.. haha

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 9:36 PM

Monday, August 28, 2006

You scored as Theater. You should be a Theater major! Like a bohemian actress, you are seasoned and confident and not afraid to express yourself!

Theater

100%

Dance

92%

Philosophy

92%

Mathematics

83%

Journalism

83%

Engineering

75%

Chemistry

75%

English

75%

Sociology

67%

Linguistics

58%

Psychology

58%

Biology

50%

Anthropology

42%

Art

33%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

gracious_angel sat under the tree @ 12:42 AM